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smokiebrie's Blog


awkward

i consider myself to be quirky-creative and awkward.  i'm realizing that i prefer solitude. i actually like most people. i even get along well with people. it is just that i see so many people who are  angry about the silliest of things. so what does it really matter that a person  has 18 items  in a 15 items or less lane at a grocery store. good grief!      what a way to waste good energy.  it's as if any and every little  annoyance becomes a reason to  be mad .  i'm speaking of adults here.  teens have a tendency to be over dramatic.  everything  in their life is of the most importance.   pretty normal for the age.  sadly it seems   there are a lot of adults , who have never grown out of that stage. i believe there are those who actually look for things to be pissed off about.  so when i'm out and about, i tend to be very quiet and as polite as possible.
     the one thing that really  validates the choice  of sollitude for me is-- deceit.  i used to be trusting. that is not being naive'    just  open .   i think above most everything else, i treasure honesty.  i may not always like what i hear, and some times the truth is painful-but i much prefer the truth.   i find it exhausting   to try to sort out the truth from the bull shit when interacting with people.  
   i know i come across as awkward to people.  at least i think i do.  it's because  of  trying to be social yet wanting to keep my distance.  i no longer want to deal with lies.  sometimes i question my ability to discern the truth from the stories. so i'm happiest being  in sollitude. 
sadly,   i have become a person i never thought i would become...........
i only answer the phone if i see it is a select few people.  the rest of the calls go to voice mail.  i avoid  social situations where i'm expected to interact  with people i may or may not trust.    when i am at home, i will not answer the door if someone knocks.  if  i haven't invited the person over to my home, i don't want to deal with them. i'll go to  my bedroom and shut the door until they stop knocking and leave.
i was lied to by my sister.  it devastated me.  it wasn't so much , what the lie was, but the fact that it was the  one person who i had opened  myself to-the one who i had shared my thoughts/hopes/fears etc...  disrespected me  so greatly by telling me lies.  i haven't  found a way to manage   that betrayal.   a part of me disolved when i discovered  , that  even my friend/blood could and would lie to me.     i choose to be  separate.    i no longer have the energy  to be social  or the desire for that matter.   most people  probably see me as being awkward  and that is ok.   i know who i really am and that is important.






 

something in the air

i love the autum season.  it's cool enough to get into all the baking i love to do.   tonight, eventhough , it's not baking- i've made a glazed ham with sweet potatoes and tossed salad for supper.  the glaze is something i created, and i'm quite happy with how it turned out.

this summer when herbs and produce are in season and oh so yummy, i took the oppurtunity to infuse some local honey with unique flavors.   the honey i used on my ham   was infused with citrus and hot peppers.    those things in combination with the sweet really  makes the taste buds dance!   i have also made these infused honeys

=sage
=lemon  basil
=vanilla  and star anise

they are easy to make and your imagination is the limit.===all that is need is a mason jar with the lid-honey-and what ever herbs-spices-fruit you wish.  let them sit in the honey for a week or so then strain and put back in sealable container. do not refridgerate.   the longer you leave herbs, etc.. in the honey the stronger the flavor.   i love putting lemon or lime zest in.
 

remix

i have been on ep before. i had written a lot of short stories , some i thought were pretty good. i also added recipes and menu ideas. i deleted every thing when i left. i think it's the right time to get back into blogging. this might not be read by anyone but me. but if there are those, that might find this--i hope you enjoy my future posts and check out my posts often.

1-3 of 3 Blogs   

Previous Posts
awkward, posted October 2nd, 2014
something in the air, posted September 22nd, 2014
remix, posted September 10th, 2014

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